We have roughed through learning the steps for Jose Limon's "The Moor's Pavane" which is loosely based on Othello (as I've said before.) Tomorrow, the lady who set it on us last time returns to begin working us through it. Oh, and will she ever WORK us! I am thrilled to remember the little details that I have forgotten and hopefully discover new ones. This is such an intricate piece, and when it works correctly, it's a beauty.
This should be an exhausting but rewarding week!
I also have one of my best friends coming in tomorrow to spend the week. I am excited. I have been so lucky to have so many people who are dear to me coming through Kansas City!
Monday, January 25, 2010
Sunday, January 24, 2010
A wonderful two weeks.
My teacher has now left Kansas City after two intense but rewarding weeks of working on Lambarena with the company. She really breathed such lovely life and energy into the environment amongst the dancers. I feel so fortunate to also have gotten to take her classes again while she was here. She has a unique way of pushing me that I respond well to.
Ballet instructing and coaching for professional dancers has to be done in such a way that is different from coaching students. We have different needs as we progress and become more seasoned as artists. I know that for myself, I no longer respond to being yelled at as I may have once upon a time. I love the ever strict mentality of ballet, but I respond to a gentler, more nurturing tone, and this is exactly how my teacher worked with us.
Even in times of frustration, she stayed above board and positive with us. I don't know how she did it. I do know that I am sad that she is gone, but I am glad that she will continue working throughout the dance world and bringing her light to those who need refreshment.
Ballet instructing and coaching for professional dancers has to be done in such a way that is different from coaching students. We have different needs as we progress and become more seasoned as artists. I know that for myself, I no longer respond to being yelled at as I may have once upon a time. I love the ever strict mentality of ballet, but I respond to a gentler, more nurturing tone, and this is exactly how my teacher worked with us.
Even in times of frustration, she stayed above board and positive with us. I don't know how she did it. I do know that I am sad that she is gone, but I am glad that she will continue working throughout the dance world and bringing her light to those who need refreshment.
Friday, January 22, 2010
Celebrations.
When you're in a company for a period of time as long as I have been, it is remarkable to watch how life grows and changes around you. I've seen children who were babies blossom into people who are lovely to hold a conversation with, friends get married, friends then have babies-all of the things that come with normal life everywhere, but to me something seems odd. I still feel that I'm in a sort of "ballet bubble" in which time has stood still. I'm still that ten year old going to ballet class, goofily running around and annoying the other dancers. (while at the same time being consistently respectful to the art form at all of course-ha!)
I guess the idea of how much life has happened around me and of course to me in ten short years really blows my mind. As a child and teenager it seemed to go by so slowly, and I wasn't aware of all of the changes life brings. Now, I see and remember so much from this past decade.
I thought of this tonight after I attended my second birthday celebration in two days for a couple of colleagues. Birthdays are huge triumphs to me. I am one who considers each added year as a gift. It makes me sad to think that even though I'll be able to stay in touch with my friends here in Kansas City, my life won't be with them anymore. I'll miss seeing the one year old baby of a friend I've known since we were eighteen grow up. I won't be here to celebrate the birthdays of the two colleagues from yesterday and today (along with many others.)
It also makes me sad that those who I am closest to won't get to directly see what I am up to on a daily basis. I find it all so odd, and I haven't decided what to do with these discoveries yet.
I guess the idea of how much life has happened around me and of course to me in ten short years really blows my mind. As a child and teenager it seemed to go by so slowly, and I wasn't aware of all of the changes life brings. Now, I see and remember so much from this past decade.
I thought of this tonight after I attended my second birthday celebration in two days for a couple of colleagues. Birthdays are huge triumphs to me. I am one who considers each added year as a gift. It makes me sad to think that even though I'll be able to stay in touch with my friends here in Kansas City, my life won't be with them anymore. I'll miss seeing the one year old baby of a friend I've known since we were eighteen grow up. I won't be here to celebrate the birthdays of the two colleagues from yesterday and today (along with many others.)
It also makes me sad that those who I am closest to won't get to directly see what I am up to on a daily basis. I find it all so odd, and I haven't decided what to do with these discoveries yet.
Thursday, January 21, 2010
...from the corner of my mind.
I thought it might be time for another anecdote. I recently recounted the story of my spill during "The Nutcracker." This is one from my third season in the company.
We were rehearsing a rather awkward military(ish) piece-complete with camouflage and barets. (not do be confused with "bourrees" which is a French term that is used in ballet technique.) At one point in the piece, there were a series of drag/slides across the floor. These were executed by the man standing behind the woman on the left side of the stage with his hands under her armpits, and she was locked in an erect, board-like stance on two feet. He leaned her far to the left to begin pushing her into a slide with her feet going towards the right. As he approached center, he pulled her upright and leaned her to the right so now he was dragging her with her body tilted head first toward stage right, and this continued to exit offstage. This was accomplished while running.
In our old building, there was a series of floor to ceiling windows that lined the right side of the studio. There were ballet barres that ran along the windows, and below them, on the floor were metal heating/air conditioning vents.
My partner and I are known for many things, but one of our most proud attributes is that we belong to what we named "The Big-Foot Club." (or B.F.C.) I have always been president, and she, vice-president. We share a common bond, for on numerous occasions, our feet have gotten in the way of our normal life tasks. This day was no exception.
I took off full force from stage left. All was well. I lifted her vertically. All was going as planned. As I took her to the right, mayhem ensued. Somehow, my body decided it would be a good idea to place my left foot under both of hers. As I tripped, I freed my foot in time to step over her body, turning her face down to the floor at a forty-five degree angle. Precisely at this moment, fate intervened and placed my right foot under her feet. All of this continued in an extremely graceful bobbling, stumbling manner at approximately fifty-two miles per hour. I struggled for what seemed like a lifetime to get us back on our feet.
Then I saw it. The barre and the window.
When young boys/men are first learning to partner young girls/women, every teacher worth his or her salt preaches one thing. Make the lady look good no matter what. To take it a step further, if something is going wrong, save the lady. Especially in the event of lifts, men are taught to land under the girl if all else fails.
I had always prided myself with my acute knowledge of partnering that only comes with years of meticulous coaching. In that split three year second, I did what came naturally to me. Full with the momentum of the step, I heaved my partner head first under the barre towards the window and landed completely on top of her. Her hands hit the metal vent making the most violent sound that could accompany nothing else but death itself.
Nice job, Matthew.
As we peeled our mangled bodies off of the floor, we soon discovered that we were both in one piece-well, two pieces, naturally. The faces of those around us were momentarily those of people who had just witnessed a car accident, but the room soon erupted with laughter upon the realization that we were relatively unscathed.
Little did I know at the time that moments like these are the ones that define a career. These are what ballet legends are made of. It's not the number of pirouettes one does or how high one jumps that people remember. It's the disasters.
I can say only one thing about this momentous occasion in my ballet history. I owe that young woman my life. She really sacrificed herself for the greater good of my career. Thank you.
We were rehearsing a rather awkward military(ish) piece-complete with camouflage and barets. (not do be confused with "bourrees" which is a French term that is used in ballet technique.) At one point in the piece, there were a series of drag/slides across the floor. These were executed by the man standing behind the woman on the left side of the stage with his hands under her armpits, and she was locked in an erect, board-like stance on two feet. He leaned her far to the left to begin pushing her into a slide with her feet going towards the right. As he approached center, he pulled her upright and leaned her to the right so now he was dragging her with her body tilted head first toward stage right, and this continued to exit offstage. This was accomplished while running.
In our old building, there was a series of floor to ceiling windows that lined the right side of the studio. There were ballet barres that ran along the windows, and below them, on the floor were metal heating/air conditioning vents.
My partner and I are known for many things, but one of our most proud attributes is that we belong to what we named "The Big-Foot Club." (or B.F.C.) I have always been president, and she, vice-president. We share a common bond, for on numerous occasions, our feet have gotten in the way of our normal life tasks. This day was no exception.
I took off full force from stage left. All was well. I lifted her vertically. All was going as planned. As I took her to the right, mayhem ensued. Somehow, my body decided it would be a good idea to place my left foot under both of hers. As I tripped, I freed my foot in time to step over her body, turning her face down to the floor at a forty-five degree angle. Precisely at this moment, fate intervened and placed my right foot under her feet. All of this continued in an extremely graceful bobbling, stumbling manner at approximately fifty-two miles per hour. I struggled for what seemed like a lifetime to get us back on our feet.
Then I saw it. The barre and the window.
When young boys/men are first learning to partner young girls/women, every teacher worth his or her salt preaches one thing. Make the lady look good no matter what. To take it a step further, if something is going wrong, save the lady. Especially in the event of lifts, men are taught to land under the girl if all else fails.
I had always prided myself with my acute knowledge of partnering that only comes with years of meticulous coaching. In that split three year second, I did what came naturally to me. Full with the momentum of the step, I heaved my partner head first under the barre towards the window and landed completely on top of her. Her hands hit the metal vent making the most violent sound that could accompany nothing else but death itself.
Nice job, Matthew.
As we peeled our mangled bodies off of the floor, we soon discovered that we were both in one piece-well, two pieces, naturally. The faces of those around us were momentarily those of people who had just witnessed a car accident, but the room soon erupted with laughter upon the realization that we were relatively unscathed.
Little did I know at the time that moments like these are the ones that define a career. These are what ballet legends are made of. It's not the number of pirouettes one does or how high one jumps that people remember. It's the disasters.
I can say only one thing about this momentous occasion in my ballet history. I owe that young woman my life. She really sacrificed herself for the greater good of my career. Thank you.
Wednesday, January 20, 2010
A Reminder.
Tonight, over dinner with my beloved teacher, she shared more advice. I feel that I could listen to her for hours.
She reminded me how as dancers we are lucky to get paid to do what we love. This is a view I have long shared with her and those around me. She spoke also about the other side of the coin that we often forget. Part of getting paid for doing what we love is coming to acceptance that we are also getting paid for all of the other times when we aren't doing what we love. Those are times such as when rehearsals go too long without seeming productive, the people we work for may seem difficult, we may not get the parts we want, etc. Life isn't fair.
It's not only this way in dance. There isn't a business out there (that I can think of) where one can be 100% happy every second of every paid hour. As dancers, we often get ruffled by the unpleasantries of the business, but as my teacher wisely said, we signed the contract for the junk as well as the pleasant parts.
I feel that if I as an artist can continually remember this, it will make my career (and has) so much more pleasant. I must add that I'm growing ever more ready for different "unpleasantries" in my next adventure. Some that come to mind are: unemployment, day jobs, auditioning (except I'm going to enjoy that remember?!?) However, it's the ones that I don't know about yet that I'm intrigued by. I have no way of knowing what they will be until they plop into my lap. Then, I'll have to make the decision to once again take the bad with the good and learn to enjoy life, or become angry and miserable. Who wants to be miserable? The choice seems simple, but I think that more often than not, we as humans choose the negative. It may be an easier choice to make, but the long term effects are terrible on the soul.
She reminded me how as dancers we are lucky to get paid to do what we love. This is a view I have long shared with her and those around me. She spoke also about the other side of the coin that we often forget. Part of getting paid for doing what we love is coming to acceptance that we are also getting paid for all of the other times when we aren't doing what we love. Those are times such as when rehearsals go too long without seeming productive, the people we work for may seem difficult, we may not get the parts we want, etc. Life isn't fair.
It's not only this way in dance. There isn't a business out there (that I can think of) where one can be 100% happy every second of every paid hour. As dancers, we often get ruffled by the unpleasantries of the business, but as my teacher wisely said, we signed the contract for the junk as well as the pleasant parts.
I feel that if I as an artist can continually remember this, it will make my career (and has) so much more pleasant. I must add that I'm growing ever more ready for different "unpleasantries" in my next adventure. Some that come to mind are: unemployment, day jobs, auditioning (except I'm going to enjoy that remember?!?) However, it's the ones that I don't know about yet that I'm intrigued by. I have no way of knowing what they will be until they plop into my lap. Then, I'll have to make the decision to once again take the bad with the good and learn to enjoy life, or become angry and miserable. Who wants to be miserable? The choice seems simple, but I think that more often than not, we as humans choose the negative. It may be an easier choice to make, but the long term effects are terrible on the soul.
Tuesday, January 19, 2010
Wow.
Crazy things keep happening. I'll say it again-I'm on the right path. I hate to show my pessimistic side, but things keep going so well overall, I'm concerned that I'm due some bad luck!
I will preface this story by saying that I don't believe in anything until I see it on paper. I'm not counting my chickens before they hatch.
The short of it is that a friend of mine with whom I acted four years ago here in Kansas City (and have stayed loosely in contact with) is looking for a roommate. Bingo! He asked me out of the blue if I was needing a roommate, and I told him that I and a friend am planning on moving to the city and hoping to perhaps get another roommate. He was already thinking of having two, and he was also thinking of looking for a place in Queens, which is where we want to live!
This gentleman said that he would begin looking in March which is when my friend will be in the city visiting, thereby they could meet. His current lease is up in May. This is all too serendipitous. I'm completely floored. I had no problems speaking for my Kansas City friend and telling him that we were up for it. When I got off the phone with "New York," and called my friend and let him know about this he was elated.
As I've said, it can be frightening to think about moving somewhere new, but it seems that the road is still being laid out before me (us.) All I can do at this moment is once again encourage anyone who feels that they are on the brink of change to align themselves properly, do their homework, make sure they're following their heart, and GO FOR IT.
I'll continue riding this wave until it breaks, and then I'll figure out the next step.
I will preface this story by saying that I don't believe in anything until I see it on paper. I'm not counting my chickens before they hatch.
The short of it is that a friend of mine with whom I acted four years ago here in Kansas City (and have stayed loosely in contact with) is looking for a roommate. Bingo! He asked me out of the blue if I was needing a roommate, and I told him that I and a friend am planning on moving to the city and hoping to perhaps get another roommate. He was already thinking of having two, and he was also thinking of looking for a place in Queens, which is where we want to live!
This gentleman said that he would begin looking in March which is when my friend will be in the city visiting, thereby they could meet. His current lease is up in May. This is all too serendipitous. I'm completely floored. I had no problems speaking for my Kansas City friend and telling him that we were up for it. When I got off the phone with "New York," and called my friend and let him know about this he was elated.
As I've said, it can be frightening to think about moving somewhere new, but it seems that the road is still being laid out before me (us.) All I can do at this moment is once again encourage anyone who feels that they are on the brink of change to align themselves properly, do their homework, make sure they're following their heart, and GO FOR IT.
I'll continue riding this wave until it breaks, and then I'll figure out the next step.
Monday, January 18, 2010
Monologues.
Once again, I threw myself into the deep end and survived. My audition today was a lot of fun. Call me corny, but I still think things are happening in a way that it seems I'm being allowed to safely ease myself into the audition scene. Let me explain.
In the case of this audition, I knew that I was probably not right for any of the roles being performed in this company's summer season, but the people running the audition were generous, kind, easy going and funny. They never made me feel that I was wasting their time. When I auditioned for the before mentioned local outdoor theatre here in Kansas City, the auditors were also kind and encouraging. The way I look at it, I'm being given a gift of safe auditions before I have to potentially deal with some tough situations.
Or, actually what I'm hoping for, is that I have been preparing myself appropriately, and I'm discovering that it's not going to get much worse than this. Perhaps there really isn't that much to be afraid of.
At any rate, once again, I succeeded (for myself) at giving the best performance I could and enjoying it while I was in the moment. Why not? I don't want to be a bitter actor before I even have a chance to try my hand in New York! As far as I see it, it can only keep getting better and better, and at some point, I will eventually get the job that's right for me. Keep those auditions coming.
In the case of this audition, I knew that I was probably not right for any of the roles being performed in this company's summer season, but the people running the audition were generous, kind, easy going and funny. They never made me feel that I was wasting their time. When I auditioned for the before mentioned local outdoor theatre here in Kansas City, the auditors were also kind and encouraging. The way I look at it, I'm being given a gift of safe auditions before I have to potentially deal with some tough situations.
Or, actually what I'm hoping for, is that I have been preparing myself appropriately, and I'm discovering that it's not going to get much worse than this. Perhaps there really isn't that much to be afraid of.
At any rate, once again, I succeeded (for myself) at giving the best performance I could and enjoying it while I was in the moment. Why not? I don't want to be a bitter actor before I even have a chance to try my hand in New York! As far as I see it, it can only keep getting better and better, and at some point, I will eventually get the job that's right for me. Keep those auditions coming.
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