Friday, January 21, 2011

Still going.

Here's just a short one. I went to the opera the other night which was a wonderful escape. As I was enjoying it, I went back into my head and remembered how much I enjoy the act of being on stage and providing that escape for people. Then, everything snowballed. I'm NOT on stage currently! I'm NOT providing an escape! It hit me like a ton of bricks, and actually made me realize further how much this new lifestyle is taking its toll on me!

Before this begins to sound any more like a whiny journal entry in the style of blogs that I hate, I'm going to wrap it up by saying this: I know that this is all just a part of the journey. These daily ins and outs and highs and lows. My eye is still set on the ever changing prize. I'll get there.

Wednesday, January 12, 2011


Here's the basic jist of things. Auditioning sucks. (I apologize for my less than poetic rhetoric, but I haven't the energy for poetry at the moment.) Now, lest anyone think I am going back on things I may have previously stated, I still find enjoyment in auditioning at some level. Auditioning appeals to those of us who are adrenaline junkies. We're the ones who stand on the top of a tall building and wonder what it would be like to parachute down. We're the ones who love roller coasters. Yes, we're a sick breed, but you have to have this kind of sickness in order to put yourself through the Hell that is auditioning in New York City.

I've done seven auditions in three days-three of which were today. Today, I signed in for what is called an Equity Principal Appointment, and reserved an audition time for 5:50pm. Then, I rushed over to another space with barely enough time to sign in before an extremely physical dance audition. Then, I piddle-farted around and killed time before going to get in line at an audition for which I hadn't previously signed up for.

Note: you can sign up on a list ahead of time thus making the order you are seen in sooner rather than later. Sometimes I forget to do this.

At this particular audition there were 600 people signed up ahead of time. Fortunately, not all of them showed. Even at that rate, however, I was number 151. Three hours later I sang my eight bars (sixteen is the norm, but there were too many people,) and then I trudged downstairs to wait another hour before my appointment to sing for the other audition.

Folks, there is something romantic in the un-romantic life that is the actor's. We put ourselves through absolute crap in the hopes of finally getting a gig. All of this considered, as I walked to the elevator to leave, exhausted from my day, I thought, "This will pay off eventually." I really believe that once I finally get a job, I'll have such a great story to tell.

Here's the part that's even more amazing. It's not even a new story. People have been doing this for years. Welcome to the club Matthew.

Monday, January 3, 2011

Time to hit it hard.

Audition season has begun as of today! I'm excited for 2011. I have several things going through my head, but I really am thrilled to focus on REALLY succeeding. I now finally feel comfortable here, and my confidence is growing daily in myself. I finally have a voice teacher that I am enjoying working with, and in just a couple of lessons, I already can tell that I've made a good choice.

On another note. I may have spoken about this before, but I'm going to reiterate with more confidence. I didn't take a couple of tap classes when I first got back because I was nervous about my skill level compared to the others. (I've mentioned before that this is an area that I am not as experienced in.) I then had a re-realization though when I was taking a ballet class and a theatre jazz class (that I felt more comfortable in,) GET OUT OF YOUR OWN WAY MATTHEW!!!

There are people in the classes that I take that are less skilled in those classes than I am in the other ones that I feel incompetent in. If they feel comfortable enough to participate, then I have every right to push myself in more advance classes. Of course I already knew this, but I just felt that it was good to voice this again in the New Year.

I really don't mean this to sound catty. I'm not truly comparing myself in a competitive way or meaning to demean those around me. I am actually using them as inspiration to push myself even more. So, there it is. Happy New Year. Let's kick some butt.