Ouch.

Here's the basic jist of things. Auditioning sucks. (I apologize for my less than poetic rhetoric, but I haven't the energy for poetry at the moment.) Now, lest anyone think I am going back on things I may have previously stated, I still find enjoyment in auditioning at some level. Auditioning appeals to those of us who are adrenaline junkies. We're the ones who stand on the top of a tall building and wonder what it would be like to parachute down. We're the ones who love roller coasters. Yes, we're a sick breed, but you have to have this kind of sickness in order to put yourself through the Hell that is auditioning in New York City.

I've done seven auditions in three days-three of which were today. Today, I signed in for what is called an Equity Principal Appointment, and reserved an audition time for 5:50pm. Then, I rushed over to another space with barely enough time to sign in before an extremely physical dance audition. Then, I piddle-farted around and killed time before going to get in line at an audition for which I hadn't previously signed up for.

Note: you can sign up on a list ahead of time thus making the order you are seen in sooner rather than later. Sometimes I forget to do this.

At this particular audition there were 600 people signed up ahead of time. Fortunately, not all of them showed. Even at that rate, however, I was number 151. Three hours later I sang my eight bars (sixteen is the norm, but there were too many people,) and then I trudged downstairs to wait another hour before my appointment to sing for the other audition.

Folks, there is something romantic in the un-romantic life that is the actor's. We put ourselves through absolute crap in the hopes of finally getting a gig. All of this considered, as I walked to the elevator to leave, exhausted from my day, I thought, "This will pay off eventually." I really believe that once I finally get a job, I'll have such a great story to tell.

Here's the part that's even more amazing. It's not even a new story. People have been doing this for years. Welcome to the club Matthew.