Christmas 2010

As I was enjoying the holiday, I came upon this article of my friend Jennifer Grapes. It ties into my theme about "Retiring," and I wanted to celebrate her career by sharing it. Congratulations Jennifer. (Just cut and paste it into your browser.)



I hope you enjoy it. Happy Holidays everyone.


http://www.milwaukeeballet.org/about-us/artistic-director/blog-archive/last-train-out-land-sweets-jennifer-grapes-says-goodbye

Deep Sigh.

Tonight, I rushed home from the airport in Newark, New Jersey, and together with my roommate had a small Holiday Party with a few wonderful friends. In keeping with my tradition, there was a bit of Christmas carroling!

After everything was cleaned and put away, I finally lay down on my bed and gave a big "Ahhhhh!" I did it. I made it through all of my gigs successfully. I am ever thankful for them, and now I feel like I can breathe financially at least for a few moments while I continue to focus on why I am here in the city. I'm going to celebrate by getting my Christmas shopping finished tomorrow and going to lunch with a friend. I think I deserve it!

Another Last Nutcracker.

Today, I awoke at 4:30am Pacific Time, and I haven't been able to sleep since. I think my body is getting me ready to go back to the New York. I couldn't be more excited about that. Doing Nutcracker gigs has been a wonderful gift and a chance to express myself artistically and above all for now, get paid well for it! I've gotten to travel as was one of my goals upon moving to NY, and I've met wonderful people. Now, I'm ready to embark on 2011 and see what happens. I am quite anxious. I wonder if this anxiety will ever go away? Perhaps once if book a long term gig. That said, I'm not going to sit afraid and worry my life away! I know I'm fortunate, and things have continued to work out for me somehow each step of the way. Heck! I've already been in New York for over half a year, and I haven't starved yet or missed a months rent! Not bad.

On a slightly different subject. A word to the wise: if you are unable to sleep, DON'T decide it is time to go through your phone and clear out photographs in order to gain more space! It was painful to walk down memory lane and see my friends who I have missed so much back in Kansas City. It's haunting in a way to scroll through and see photos from a year ago at Christmas time. Life goes by so quickly. Even though I consider myself someone who tries to enjoy each moment, it still happens far too fast.

I love it.

My Nutcracker gig in DC was wonderful. Now, I've just completed two of six shows in Seattle. Tonight's show was a blast. Today, I'm inspired by the fact that dancing is so much more fun now that I'm "retired" from company life. Sure, the venues are different, and there are many things I miss about the security and familial setting of my previous employment life, but now that I'm doing it for myself, I'm having a ball. I always prided myself on the fact that I truly allowed myself to enjoy my work when I was with Kansas City Ballet. However, I'm really having a blast gigging. I'm much more forgiving of myself if things don't go perfectly, and with that in mind, I find that I free myself to give a better performance. Who knows what it looks like from the front, but my employers have been happy, the audiences have been responsive and my partners have been happy. Most importantly however, I've been happy.

Nutcracker 2010 Part 1.

Success! I just completed a somewhat difficult but overall enjoyable and rewarding week in the DC area performing my first of two Cavaliers of the season. My Sugar Plum Fairy was a lovely young lady, and we meshed from the beginning with our aesthetic and timing. Sometimes you just luck out.

I admit, I was nervous about donning the white tights again and all the body and technique exposure that comes along with that. I haven't worn white tights for a role for years, and I definitely hadn't performed a classical pas de deux in quite some time. Well, I've still got it! It went well. Naturally, there were a couple baubles, but hey! It's live theatre.

It was a strange process to "get back on the horse" so to speak in terms of my solo work. I was more than acceptable and clean, but I still wasn't at the top of where I remember my game to be technically. I would like to be more than just acceptable and clean.

It's interesting to try to figure out how to balance training and auditioning and life in NY, and I am pretty good at it. However, I still plan to do more as I can afford to. I am extremely grateful that I had such a wonderful opportunity and such lovely and warm people to work with. Now it's time to put that version of the pas out of my mind and remember the other one that I'm doing on the West Coast!