Share and share alike.

Lately, I have been struck by the generosity of artists around me. For the most part, I have had many people who are entirely willing to share with me the "secrets" that they have learned of the business. Any information they may have gleaned from their experiences such as where to look for jobs that I have never thought of or where to look for apartments has been helpful.

This is such a dog eat dog world, and often artists feel threatened by each other. I know I have felt this anxiety on many occasions such as when I am up for a role against others, and it's not clear who is going to get the part. At times such as these, it is human nature to "look out for number one." When it comes to casting, I'm trying to learn that since much of it is entirely out of my control, I may as well just do my best and let the chips fall where they may.

Now that I'm entering a different and even more competitive pool where people don't have the luxury of getting paid even if they don't get the part, I'm really having to prepare myself mentally. I find that the people who are the most successful and respectable are also the ones who are the most helpful. They don't seem threatened by anyone else. They are confident and calm, and many that I have met so far are even kind! Go figure! It's often people who I call the "ankle biters" who are so frantic about getting the job and taking care of themselves that they aren't willing or able to help those around them.

Everyone has a story and experiences that influence them in their personal interaction with others. I know that I can tend to fall into the nervous insecure category. However, by knowing this about myself and admitting it openly, I hope that I as I grow I can be more like the helpful and confident artists who I admire. In self defense, I don't feel that I've ever been one to deny help to anyone who needs it, but as a human, the competition factor often creeps into my mind. I know that on many levels this will never go away. My personality is what it is, but I hope that I can continue to learn, accept criticism and graciously be able to help others someday as much as I am being helped now in this transition.

One item to check off the list.

After much frustration and several weeks of work, my website is complete. Such a sense of accomplishment accompanies this! Of course, I will continue adding to it, but the initial(and a bit scary) part which is simply getting it online is finished. So, for today, this will be the extent of my blog, and if anyone who is reading would like to take a field trip of sorts and be let into a bit more of the life of this author, go to:

www.matthewdonnell.com

Enjoy!

Home again.

What a week! I feel as if my feet never stopped moving, and my heart never stopped racing! It was so exciting to be in what will be home, but work beckons me tomorrow at the ballet. I feel refreshed and ready to go into that Nutcracker time of the year.

I feel a bit frantic now that I've been away, and I am even more aware of the magnitude of this transition. I have so much that I need to get accomplished-I'm beginning to sound like a broken record.

To backtrack to yesterday. I managed to see one more performance bringing my total to three Broadway shows and a community theatre production in five days. All were inspiring. This week put me in what I feel is a win-win state of mind. I feel artistically fulfilled at work, and now I feel even more inspired to get through the rest of the season and really enjoy it. I don't believe I could have hoped for more out of this trip. Even though it was in truth a vacation, I most definitely feel like I began laying some important ground work.

I landed in Kansas City about two hours ago, and now it's off to train and choreograph for the future generation. Off to teach go I, and tomorrow it's back to work full speed ahead. Time to continue making this dream a reality.

Philadelphia Story.

It has been quite an exciting day. I left New York early in the morning via "Megabus" on my way to Philadelphia. When I stepped off the bus, I felt as if I was hit by a wave of nostalgia. Philly was where I first lived away from home. It was such a period of growth for me. I began to establish independence and a clearer knowledge of what I wanted to do with my life. It was quite an inwardly emotional homecoming of sorts today.

I visited the Rock School which is where I did my last year of formal training. My word it has changed! The school has grown, and it was exciting to get to look in on the eager and talented young students continuing the tradition. Wow were they good!

If I had only gotten to tour my old school and see my teachers, that would have been enough in my quest towards closure. However, by some stroke of fate, I happened to be in another part of the city and saw one of the ballet masters of Pennsylvania Ballet who had also been one of my teachers! I called out to him, and he invited me to come and watch the company's rehearsal on stage. I got to see a former colleague of mine from Kansas City Ballet who I hadn't seen in years rehearse his lead role. He looked remarkable. Although I don't find myself jealous of dancers anymore on stage, I do still get inspired by their passion for the craft. It was wonderful to see him and several others from my past.

Currently, I am writing this entry while on the regional railway. I spent many a day on the train in and out of Philadelphia, and for some reason I always enjoyed writing on the train. It's something about the rhythm and the sound as we rumble along. It's a much different energy than the subway, naturally, but I find I feel safe surrounded by so many people. it's quite comfortable for me.

Looking around.

Today I let myself fall in love with public transportation again. One thing about it that I find interesting is how it forces people to be in close contact with each other. You get to make the choice-depending on personality and/or mood-on how you interact with those around you.

I've been enjoying seeing the look in peoples' eyes when I am courteous or polite. It's a look of surprise and gratitude. It makes me realize that I have an opportunity with everyone I see to make a brief connection. I don't think I'll necessarily change the world, but I can try to spread some positive energy. We'll see how far this takes me. If nothing else, hopefully it will eventually begin to change me and make me a better and warmer person-the kind of person I would like to know(or at least share a subway ride with.)

This is such a fun trip, and it's going by so quickly. Tomorrow, I'm going into Philadelphia, and I'm going to visit the dance school attended for the year before I went to Kansas City. I'm excited to see my teachers. I think this will help me in my continuous quest to find closure in this transition.

So inspired.

I am so hungry for more of the inspiration that I am finding simply by walking on the streets here in New York. The energy of the people, the crowds, the simple fact that there is activity going on EVERY NIGHT is exactly what I'm needing at this point in my life.

I hope that I am lucky enough to get work performing quickly after I move here, but as long as I find some sort of job to pay the bills, I am sure that(at least for a while) I will be content just getting settled into this new place and pace of life.

I am excited to find classes and further my training as an actor, but I am more excited for what I will learn from the life experiences I will have and the people I will meet. I love being surrounded by people who are in the same field as I and are pushing for work. Yes, I could be discouraged by the great odds that are against all actors when searching for work in a saturated field, but instead(for as long as I can,) I hope to focus on the joy of my new surroundings.

Let me say that I haven't forgotten that I have a wonderful rest of the season to go back to at the ballet. I promise to continue to keep my focus sharp on my work.......but I'm still so excited by NYC!

It's time.

At the completion of my first day in New York City, I know I've made the right decision to move here. I love this place. I'm still nervous about the finer details such as the financial aspect and finding a place to live, but I'm so excited. The energy on a Tuesday-a Tuesday! I just love that every day of the week can be buzzing with life.

I'm enjoying the people watching and imagining where people come from or are going to. Once I'm back in Kansas City, I'll be able to truly reflect upon the week that I'm sure will be full of adventures, but for now, I'm going to rest up. My(well, almost) city awaits tomorrow.