Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Something I fear.

Sometimes when people know they are going to move away or quit their job or know some big change is coming, they begin to distance themselves from the people around them. This scares me because people have always been an important part of my life. I am extremely social by nature, and when there have been times when I have distanced myself from people, I have felt awful about it in the long run.

On a rough day, it is easy to say, "I don't care what people think of me, I'm leaving anyway..." I hate when this kind of thought comes into my mind. I don't think that is a healthy way to close a chapter in ones life. Of course, there is truth to the matter that not everyone will always be madly in love with me. I am continually learning that at the end of the day, I need to be happy with who I am and live my life accordingly. Those who will be in my life forever simply will, and those who won't, won't! That doesn't mean that I shouldn't continue to try to reach out and make the lives around me as enjoyable as I can while I am still here.

We have such a wonderful gift as artists. Even though it seems we can be easily replaced at the drop of a hat-or the break of an ankle-we are given a brief moment in the spotlight when we can make a difference in the lives around us. As my spotlight dims here in Kansas City, I want to do just that. It isn't easy of course, but I've never done anything that was easy for me.(except perhaps eating.)

If I keep this focus, I don't need to fear that I will distance myself from others. I can keep that fear at bay by focusing outward and seeing how that affects me. It's definitely worth a try.

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