It is nice that although I have the odd feeling that I can see the season's end rushing towards me as every week goes by, I still am able to enjoy what I am doing. I had a week that albeit far from perfect, was extremely rewarding. I found myself having such a wonderful time learning a new work that will be performed later on in the season. Although it remains to be seen who will dance it, I really enjoyed the process. This is a bit rare for me as I tend to be one who likes the finished product more than the work required to get there.
I think that simply being able to relax and be calm in a pseudo zen-like manner really helped this week pass smoothly-at least artistically speaking.
Right now my life outside of work is full of anxieties of the unknown. I'm bustling around trying to prepare for the next step while at the same time maintain my life here and in the moment. It is so easy to get ahead of myself and freak out, but I am finding that it is possible to simply stay calm. I'm extremely confused by this, but I'm just going to go with it for now. My time at the ballet is coming to an end whether I choose to let it drive me crazy or not.
Thereby, it was such a pleasure to be able to enjoy my week. Never fear, I still got some complaining in there, but come on! It's ballet! I'm not saving lives! I get paid to play! I get to go to work everyday and still do what I love. Not many people can say that. I want to look back on my life at the Kansas City Ballet and be able to say, "You know what? Overall, I had a really good time!" I'm going to make that happen.