Pursuing dreams.

On Friday, I had a rare opportunity. I auditioned for "The Greatest Show on Earth" i.e. Ringling Brothers Barnum and Bailey Circus. They held an audition searching for clowns. It was a wonderful experience. The audition was actually in a circus tent. Ringling Brothers has a new one-ring old fashioned circus tent show that is stationed for the summer at Coney Island. I can't think of a better place to do the audition. Coney Island has such a history for circus-esque shows, and where better to audition than in an actual circus ring!

It really was a surreal experience. I made it all the way through the audition, and they talked to me. They said they would be in touch, but now, I can only hope. Hey, I walked away from it feeling energized and excited, so I'll just wait and see. In the meantime, if you go to wnyc.org and scroll down, there is an article about the audition. I am mentioned at the end of the introductory paragraph. (not by name, but it's definitely me.) I am also one of the "8" who made the cut. Enjoy.

Keep those puzzle pieces coming.

Well, the agency signed me! Phew, am I relieved! I count myself fortunate because many talk about how difficult it can be to get an agent. There are of course many ways of getting to where one wants to be, but for me, I keep being pleasantly surprised at how things seem to fall into place when I don't force the issue. That said, and as anyone who has been reading this for a while, I'm not just sitting on my rump waiting for things to happen. I have been and will continue to prepare myself the best I can, so that when things open up, I will be ready.

I am extremely grateful for my new agent. I look forward to seeing how this changes things. It's still up to me to be good enough to book the job, but at least with an agent, I'll have the chance to be seen more often for different projects that I couldn't have submitted myself for.

Just more along the journey.

I'm excited for tomorrow. I have my first interview with a potential agent. Somehow, I'm not anxious, but I am excited. I simply hope that it goes well. I feel that I have things to offer, but I need guidance on how to get going-AND CONNECTIONS!!

I am thrilled about an audition that I have at the end of the week. I will be auditioning to be a clown with an extremely renowned circus. We'll see how it goes. The audition will actually be under a circus tent! I'm getting ahead of myself, but if I was to get the job, it would mean that I would be on the road for a year. Wow!

Being a clown and loving the circus is something that has been in me since my birth I feel, so we'll see what happens! Again, as I've been saying. Whatever happens, I have a chance to perform on Friday. After that, it's up to the auditors. I'm just going to be myself and see what they think. Fingers crossed!

For the first time.

Today, I had the wonderful experience of seeing Twyla Tharp's new Broadway show "Come Fly Away." It had some elements from her earlier concert piece "Nine Sinatra Songs," which I had performed with KC Ballet.

This show was incredible. It was the first time that I found myself missing ballet. I think it is because it had all the difficult elements of ballet, but being a Broadway show, it had the flashy elements that need to be in place to tell a story and hold give people what they expect from "The Great White Way."

It made me actually want to be up there with the artists on stage-everyone was stellar.

I am still bowled over by the performance, and thereby, I'll say no more for this post!

Follow up.

So, as I had imagined, I wasn't what they were looking for for Phantom-this time. I had a great audition, and I know that I danced circles around many of the guys there. That said, there were also a couple of really nice dancers. It reminded me of a time long ago when I was auditioning for ballet companies, and I would get frustrated when it was clear that my facility kept me from getting certain jobs. Now, there's no way of knowing if this was the case, but still, it brought me back.

It also reminded me how much I haven't missed auditioning for ballet companies! I NEVER really enjoyed it. I was driven because I wanted to get a job, but I always hated the stress of measuring myself up against so many others. I suppose I'm doing that again now, and in a much more competitive field in some ways, but this time, I actually enjoy auditioning. As I've said before, it's my time to perform. Hopefully I'll keep getting better and better at it!

Audition....

Ok. So, I don't write as often as I was during my "retirement" year, but hey-I didn't intend to at all at first! Take what you can get! Ha! Jokes aside, I'm putting some positive energy out into the world right now, and I'm going to ask for the same from anyone reading.

Tomorrow/today(it's 1:15 am) I'm auditioning for the show that first made me fall in love with musical theatre which led me to dance in the first place which led me to my eventual ballet career which brought me back to musical theatre....follow? I'm auditioning for "The Phantom of the Opera." To be honest, I don't think I'm "buff" enough for the role of the one dancer for which I'm auditioning, but naturally, I can definitely dance it.

It's strange. I'm so excited to do the audition, but at the same time, I don't want to in a way! It's such a fantasy to me that I don't want it to be taken away!! I'll be fine if I don't book it, naturally, but still, the mind plays games such as, "Why weren't you in the gym more often in your youth?!?" No worries though, I'm not listening to my mind. I'm actually laughing at it. I'm going to simply enjoy myself.

On a different subject, I do have a bit of an announcement. As far back as my second week here in NYC, I (think) I decided what I want to do after my second "retirement." (Well, after all, this blog is about preparing for the next step, yes?) I think I may want to be an agent. For years in Kansas City, I was asked to find dancers for various theatrical events and shows, and I found that I loved booking people in jobs and making them money as much if not more than I loved booking the gigs myself. Since I have also been enjoying being an audience member lately, I think this may be a natural progression. Of course, I reserve the right to change my mind, but for now, this is where I am. I know I love to serve people and contribute to their success.

Just thought I'd go ahead and announce that.

A good one.

Today, I had my first really good audition. The short of it is this: I was asked to stay after the first cut (tap-yeah that's right,) and then I had a chance to show off balletically with a turn and jump combo, I felt strong when I sang, and the director of the theatre complimented me afterwards! Who knows if I'll book it, but that's beside the point for me for today. The important thing is that I know that I'm beginning to get more and more comfortable in my own skin in the audition room. I'll just keep at it!

Now to actually book something. That will be a TRULY good audition!

Tap difficulties.

I want to answer a question that was posed to me by a reader. The reader asked:

What are the difficulties you notice as a ballet dancer doing tap? Are there things which you think might make it harder for you, with your background?
(I am asking because I have noticed that some ballet dancers have a harder time relaxing certain things -such as the ankles- when doing tap for the first time)

The answer I have to offer is thus: the whole process stinks!!! Relaxing my ankles as a formally trained ballet dancer is actually the least of my worries!! I feel that I am struggling with the coordination of learning a completely new vocabulary of movement. I find that often I understand the movement, but I can't get it to go from my head to my feet. It is really frustrating! I keep going back, but it is still completely embarrassing! Oh well, I have no choice but to stick with it and hope the teacher doesn't hate me for being there!

There are dancers who don't have as much trouble picking up new things such as tap even if they aren't used to doing it, but I'm not one of those! My body fights me every step of the way, but I suppose that's how I have reacted to dance from the beginning! I'll just have to keep fighting back.

Tap

Oh boy taking tap continues to be a challenge. However, I am continually being encouraged by the teachers I am taking from. I don't know why this surprises me. Perhaps it is stemming from the perfectionism that comes from ballet training. Yes, tap has to be completely perfect too, and in a way more so, or the sounds won't be correct. It's strange still how even after a class where I feel I have danced terribly, I am able to walk away feeling ok.

I suppose I should put myself in the teachers shoes. After all, it's not hard because I've been a teacher for years. Even when a student isn't up to the highest level I praise their hard work. I think another reason I am hard on myself is that because at a certain point in ballet, one knows whether or not one is going to have the chops to "make it" or not. Thereby, I tend to be down on myself when I don't catch on as fast as I would like. I actually get a bit embarrassed because I feel like I'm the student who shouldn't be in a class of the level I am taking. Then, just when I feel I am on the verge of tears (and I smile and laugh at myself to avoid that,) the teacher tells me he's proud of me for working so hard. My day is suddenly shinier, and I have an ounce more confidence to keep coming back. So, that's what I'm going to do! It may kill me, but I'm going to keep coming back.

The end.