Revisiting.

Wow. What an experience it is reworking Iago. It may be one of the most tiring things I've done all season. It's completely different for me this time, and I can already tell that I'm making new discoveries as I hoped I would. I am loving interacting with my cast mates and discovering all the nuances of the work. I am really loving working with my partner. She gives me so much to play off of, and I am almost intimidated by her excellence. I love that challenge.

I know I have spoken of not enjoying the "process" that is rehearsing, but this time, I'm loving it. I know that this may be due to the fact that this is almost more of a play than a ballet, but no matter what it is classified as, I'm still in the company and thrilled to be enjoying one of my last "processes."

The process of getting cast in a role in a ballet company is different every time. In our company, we often have auditions of sorts where everyone gets a chance to be seen for a couple of days (or sometimes more) before the casting in narrowed down. Even once it has been, there can sometimes be more people learning the role than casting can permit to actually perform it.

The first time doing the part I was heavily focused first on simply getting the part. That always takes a lot of energy and stamina. This time, I've known for a while that I have the role. To be clear, this doesn't mean I have had a false sense of confidence, but it has helped me relax and focus only on the work at hand and not focus on whether someone is going to get the part over me. It's a nice feeling, but it gives me much more time to stress over the part.

Now, that "stress" is what I live for. It's fascinating, as I said yesterday, to see the role taking a different shape as I strip away the affectations and preconceived notions that I had of the part. I hope the character will continue to grow and mold itself to me. I feel that as long as my choices are clear, the story will be told, and that's the important part.

I am so lucky to get another shot at this.