Tonight I rehearsed five of my students for their roles as the Snow King and Queen and The Sugarplum Fairy and her Cavalier for my Nutcracker. I received such a rush coaching them and seeing them respond to what I offered. I felt completely in control of my ability to be kind yet critical at the same time. I loved feeling that I was sharing my knowledge with the next generation.
For years I have taught and choreographed. I have known that I am pretty good at communicating with people, and I am aware that I can command a room with authority. However, on some levels, I have always been aware of the fact that teaching was my job on the side. Yes, I've always poured myself into it, but still, my main focus was on my own performance. Today, it felt different. Perhaps I was simply in a good mood-I don't know. All I know is that it felt different. It was a different sense of accomplishment. It was more than being proud of my students. I felt that I was comfortable with being the coach and not the dancer.
Just as I have spoken of being ready to be a ballet audience member, I suppose I can liken this feeling to that one. It was a kind of calm that I can't recall having until tonight. Hmm. Interesting. Well, I'll take it.