It's interesting how life can come full circle when it is allowed to. Let me explain. Some of my early introduction to performing came from seeing my Father work as a freelance clown. Naturally, wanting to be like him, I tried to be a clown as well. I learned to juggle and unicycle and a whole plethora of other tricks and gimmicks. I took some classes and workshops, and had an overall great time. As life has progressed, I have had to focus on my dancing more and more, leaving little to no time over the past several years to even entertain the notion of working on my clowning chops.
It's interesting that since I've made the decision to end the ballet company portion of my career, my clowning interest has begun to come back. It isn't that I've been seeking it out. It actually has found me by way of people who have been put in my life recently.
This posting isn't about me announcing that I am running away to join the circus. It actually has very little to do with my interest in anything "clown."
I am learning that I need to be aware of ALL the interests that I've had in my life, for I never know when they will come back to me and become more than hobbies. I have referred to myself with the cliche phrase "jack of all trades, master of none." This has frustrated me many times, but I'm beginning to look at it in a different light.
I am fortunate to have many interests. I want to begin to embrace them all on some level, and in so doing, I want to find an avenue to creatively encourage others to do the same with their interests. As artists, we put so much life and energy into one focus, and when it comes to the end of a career we can easily feel lost. It takes active attention not to forget ones childhood ambitions. Even if these ambitions seemed silly at the time(such as clowning,) we never know where those "silly" dreams may take us. If we don't hold onto those early ideals, I am beginning to believe that we run the risk of missing out on some real happiness.
For me, I am hoping to find a way to incorporate clowning into my life again. From there, I want to be open to anything else that may surprise me and possibly take me in new directions I could have never dreamed of. I want to be open to anything. For now, I'm going back to my roots.