Yeah, I'm going to miss it.

Today our visiting choreographer finished the world premier we will be performing in the Spring Series. As of now, there are two groups learning the piece, and I had the opportunity of seeing the other group run it in its entirety. It is so rewarding to watch a new work come together. Being where I am at this point in life, I believe I am able(for one of the first times) to non-competitively revel in the successes of my colleagues. They were beautiful.

I must say, there is something truly unique about being in a ballet company. To be part of a group of people who work and grow together for years on end is a rare opportunity. I once heard someone speak of it this way. Being in a ballet company is like being in an exclusive club, and once you're out-you're out. I am beginning to see the truth in this statement. I have loved being a part of this club. It hasn't been without hard times, but it has been so rewarding. I am sure that I will continue to blab on and on about my discoveries and thrill as I watch my co-workers, but I am simply enjoying it so much, and I am learning as the days go by that I am going to miss them.

Having been a part of theatrical casts, I have to say that there is a totally different set of familial values. They are every bit as inspiring and valid as a ballet company, but they are entirely different. I am so lucky to have been given the chance to be in a dance company first, because it is true-unless you are in one, there is no way to EVER really understand the experience of which I speak. The only thing that I think may be similar in the theatre world is if one is a member of a repertory company. But, having yet to be a part of one of those, I can only hypothesize.

I know I am ready to let go of this "club," but I am going to miss it so much. No matter what is going on in my personal life, it takes me away to a calm and wonderful place when I watch the people I work with bursting with energy and striving for perfection as an ensemble.

I thank my stars that I was given the chance to take my time and say good-bye to this career over the course of an entire season. For me, it is what I need in order to remain calm and reflect on the journey I have had here. I know that I will be ready to let it go, but have I mentioned that I will miss it?!?