Tuesday, April 6, 2010

Saying "Goodbye."

It's happening. I'm beginning to get emotional at weird times. Today, I contemplated using the rest of my personal days in order to have shorter work weeks. It wasn't because I hate being at work. It's because I'm having a hard time being at work. One part of me wants to be there soaking up every last moment, but the other part of me feels the sting of how hard it is to let this place go. Sometimes when saying "Goodbye," people try to find an escape route so as not to have to. That's what I feel like doing at this point. It's just too painful.

I have written a couple of letters now to thank people and groups I have worked with for their impact on my life here, and that has made me a teary mess. I love the ability to put my thoughts into words, but I feel as if I am writing my own eulogy in a way. This sounds hokey and dramatic perhaps, but that's me.

The good thing for me is that I know that I will come back here at some point. This was my first home in a way. Whether I was planning on that or not, it happened. It will forever be a part of me, and thereby deserves the respect I can offer by coming back to it. I find this comforting because I do love it here. I'm glad that I am leaving a place that I want to come "home" to. It speaks to the quality of my life and community here. What a wonderful place to have called home for a third of my life.

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