I took my house guest to the airport this morning after a great visit and getting to see her magnificent performance in her show. It was sad to say good-bye as always, but this time I knew I'd be living in the same city as her and all of our friends soon.
The lead actor in the production she was in, "Young Frankenstein," was in the first Broadway show I ever saw many years ago. His character work then inspired me to want to do those kinds of roles, and I've always enjoyed seeing him on stage and screen.
Yesterday, my friend said she had a surprise for me. After seeing the show, while we were getting dinner, she opened a playbill and it was signed, "To Matthew. All the best!" and it was signed as the canine-character I had first seen this actor portray (and his name, of course.) I began crying in the middle of the Mexican restaurant-how dramatic. This was such a sweet gesture by my friend.
I am not one to be starstruck. That's not what this was about to me. It was about the support that my friend was showing me, number one. Number two, I realized again how nervous I am about this move. Seeing the dancers/actors on stage was exciting. Yes, I feel that I'm good enough, but there are SO many who are good enough. There are many elements that go into casting.
I had a fifty-second panic attack about the move, and then I was fine. There is no way at this point that I could be paid enough to reverse my decision, even if it was possible to. I have been so lucky to live and love my dream here, but I have fulfilled my goals here, and it's time to let another eager artist have a chance. How generous of me-I know, I know. Just the kind of benevolent senior artist that I am. (please note sarcasm.) Really though, yes, I feel weird, but I still keep coming around to the fact that it is indeed time for this change. Lately, I've felt like a broken record in some of these entries, but I find it interesting how completely different situations keep arising that affect me in different-yet the same way emotionally. These different situations keep bringing me to the same conclusions, so I must still be making the right decision.
Hello, and welcome to the department of redundancy department....