It's real now.

Today, a note went up on the company call board that the letters of intent to the company (contract offers) have been mailed to the dancers. It is completely real to me now. I will never be asked to be a member of a professional ballet company again-well, not on this level. If this sounds dramatic, well, it is to me. I always was a little nervous waiting for that contract offer to arrive, and I was fortunate to bank on it for several years. Now, this chapter is clearly closing, and I'm going to have to start pounding the pavement so that I can get another type of contract.

Today, I stumbled upon old video footage of myself when I was in my early teens auditioning for summer courses. I was good for that age! It was sad to see some of my technique being at a cleaner level then than it is now, but that's how it goes when you're a student. You work on your craft daily from a technical point of view, thereby your muscle memory is cleaner and clearer. It was fun to see that and remember back to that time when I was excited about achieving my dancing goals. Now, I'm excited to work that hard to achieve my next ones.