I was calm today. There were no tears during or after the performance. I allowed myself to focus on the delight I felt by seeing my coworkers perform. As dancers, we really do care about our work. We push ourselves harder than anyone I can think of because at the end of the day, we know that it's our butts on the stage. It's not the choreographer, rehearsal director or any member of the artistic staff. We take any and everything that is given to us as a note or criticism and filter it through our entire bodies because we take this profession so seriously. Yes, sometimes we take it too seriously, but that is because we are doing what we love.
I am ready to be passionate about something else and leave the drama of the ballet world behind, but I know that part of me will miss it. I also know that there will always be "drama" in any career path I am on, so I rest assured that I won't be bored.
Tonight, upon the completion of our highly successful run, I feel grateful and proud of the company that I call "home." We did it again as we have so many times before, and I really think this was one of the best shows that I've been a part of in years. It was challenging to the artist as well as pleasing to the audience. Those two things don't always go hand in hand. Tonight, I applaud the Kansas City Ballet. Maybe that sounds vain, but honestly, I feel that I am looking as an outsider, and I am really proud of this company.