It has always been comforting to unlike my apartment door and be home after being out of town for any reason. Whether I was away on business or pleasure, it was always nice to be back in my own space. This evening, as I unlocked my door and walked in, I felt instantly different. It almost felt as if it wasn't my apartment. I would like it to say that it had something to do with the shock of having a lot of my furniture gone and the fact that I had somehow forgotten that over the three days away, but I don't think that is really the case.
I seem to be distancing myself from more than just my job without my realizing it. It is all going by so fast. It is unnerving to think that I don't know where I'm going to be come the beginning of May. I'll still be here in Kansas City, but I have to find a place to stay for a short while. That shouldn't be too difficult, but still, it's an eerie prospect. My life is changing, and I feel dreadfully behind.
I'm having a hard time motivating myself to get psyched to go back to work this week. I know that things will roll just fine and smoothly, but I'm not excited. I want to be excited. I don't want to look back and be bummed that I didn't cling to each moment, but I feel so fulfilled after the last show, that I almost feel that I am finished! Well, that's not the case, so I'll just have to get the energy and drive from somewhere. Well, I am an actor now, so perhaps I can "act" driven and hope that it becomes me.